Salty Southern Delight

Salty Southern Delight Michael DeWitt, Jr. Posted Aug. 11, 2021By Michael DeWitt, Jr.The other day I bought a bag of boiled peanuts and one of them cute little Cokes in the glass bottle at the Hampton Exxon station and started eating right in the parking lot. But by the time...

The pig with no ears

Welcome to Swampton: The pig with no ears Michael DeWitt, Jr. Posted June 7, 2021By Michael DeWitt, Jr.This column is dedicated to all the speech therapists and speech pathologists who help our children find their voices, and to the animal lovers who help every little piggy know that they have...

The Salvation of Hank

Welcome to Swampton: The Salvation of Hank Michael DeWitt, Jr. Posted May 24, 2021By Michael DeWitt, Jr.“And He saith unto them, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” – Matthew 4:19 The waters of the Cattywampus Church of Christ baptism pond are said to have magical powers of...

A king and a scoundrel in all of us

Welcome to Swampton: A king and a scoundrel in all of us Michael DeWitt, Jr. Posted May 18, 2021By Michael DeWitt, Jr.Welcome to Swampton County, S.C., where the sign in front of the Cattywampus Church of Christ reads: “All dogs go to heaven, so there’s hope for you, too!”Jimmy Shakes...

Blinded in the Boudoir

Southern Voices, Southern Voices: Column Headline Michael DeWitt, Jr. Posted April 21, 2021By Michael DeWitt, Jr.A fly buzzes on a gnawed fried chicken bone discarded on the sidewalk between two Main Street car-title-loan companies. Welcome to Swampton County, S.C.Ever since Swampton County passed the controversial new Pet Tax, clever citizens...

Death, taxes and three-legged dogs

Welcome to Swampton: Death, taxes and three-legged dogs Michael DeWitt, Jr. Posted April 14, 2021By Michael DeWitt, Jr.Welcome to Swampton County, S.C., home of The Swampton Slinger newspaper, where we will run your obituary for free if your subscription is all paid up. Offer valid only once.Weather It’s warming up...

Death – and sinus relief- from above

Welcome to Swampton: Death – and sinus relief- from above Michael DeWitt, Jr. Posted April 7, 2021By Michael DeWitt, Jr.Welcome to Swampton County, S.C., home of The Swampton Slinger newspaper, delivered to your home weekly since 1876, except for those 18 months when our publisher was in federal prison for...

The Easter Dress Seduction

WELCOME TO SWAMPTON: A FICTIONAL HUMOR COLUMN Michael DeWitt, Jr. Posted March 31, 2021By Michael DeWitt, Jr.The Easter Dress SeductionWelcome to Swampton County, S.C., home of The Swampton Slinger newspaper, delivered to your home since 1876, except during Prohibition when we needed our delivery trucks for something else.  Weather Update:Spring...

Don’t be a ‘Sharent,’ Karen

Don’t be a ‘Sharent,’ Karen A Joint Column Posted February 22, 2021By Michael DeWitt, Jr. and Mae Frances BingTranslating the urban dictionary into a language even old geezers can understand.When we began this column we had a noble purpose: to bridge the gap between generations, the sexes, and the races,...